how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
