THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I looked at my own cervix.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
