taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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