So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
