Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
