My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
