I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
