Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This baby is an asshole
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
