Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize