farters have to be the big spoon...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
