Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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