OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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