Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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