wat bout pragnant strippers??
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
