please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
