Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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