I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize