"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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