I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
