Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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