finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize