Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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