just tell him i said nine months
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
