Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
