At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize