Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
