that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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