At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
