in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
