he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i drank out of a bidet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
