you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
