nut hugger
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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