the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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