so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
