My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize