Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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