I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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