At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
