yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
