Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
