FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
