i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
