Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize