we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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