so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
