Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
