whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize