I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There are leaves in my underwear?
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