it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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