I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
