Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
