i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
