Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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