This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I AM VODKA MAN
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
