You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
