He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
