Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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