i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
