At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
