Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize