At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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