With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize