U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
someone owes me an orgasm
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
