Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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