Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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