My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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