They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
