is your mom at the bar?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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