so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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