The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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