Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't deserve a penis
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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