Acid is not a monday night drug
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
