i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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